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Author Topic: Gnoll  (Read 2987 times)

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Raydis

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Gnoll
« on: November 28, 2012, 04:21:12 pm »

Go me and my inability to form fancy story titles.

But anyway, I figured it was time to set a story down on this site for your entertainment and for me to use your feedback to better improve any projects I may attempt in the future.

Quick word of warning: This first part of this story doesn't contain pregnancy, but it will certainly be leading up to it.  ;)

And please, critique, critique, critique.
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Raydis

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Re: Gnoll
« Reply #1 on: November 28, 2012, 04:25:04 pm »

Part 1

Gnora sat mediating in her tent, silently brooding over her predicament. To one viewing the gnoll and her life from the outside currently, they wouldn't be able to tell what was wrong. From the beginning everything was aimed against her, born a feeble runt, she had no chance in her kind's society.

"Throw her to the pits", the chieftain said, "she won't survive the first fight."
And so she was thrown against her clan siblings in the dirt pits, a twisted rite of passage made by the gnolls that followed dark worship to weed out the weak. But die she did not, while she was frail physically, she was strong mentally, using her wits she managed to evade her would be killers, escape the pit, and flee into the adjoining forest. They hunted her for days, but were unable to find the runt in the thick foliage and eventually gave up their chase. For years she lived in the forest, fueled by her desire for revenge and sharpened by her experiences, she grew from a frail child to a towering Amazonian warrior. And finally, when she came of age, she took an axe in hand, returned to her village and removed the chieftain's head, taking his title for her own. Any and all opposition to her rule was quickly met with the same sentence and soon all of the clan was submissive to her will. But her intentions were fair, with her newfound power in hand; she carefully guided the clan away from its original destructive worship of the dark gods and taking up an almost druid-like connection with nature.

But despite her success as a leader, there was one problem she could not solve, she couldn't have children. She had bedded the clan's strongest warriors on more than one occasion but none had bore her any cubs in her belly. It was a problem without an answer, a problem she-
"Umm, chieftain?" a slight timid voice asked from outside the tent. Gnora swiveled her ears.
"Make it quick, Maneer" she answered flatly, slowly a gnoll entered the tent. He was a small specimen compared to her, frail and meek, yet she had specifically ordered that none lay a hand on him and regularly relied on him as an advisor of sorts.

"Umm listen, I know you're having problems with kids…but-"

"Get to the point"

"Have you considered looking to the humans for help?"

She cracked an eye open, their clan had recently established a semi-permanent camp near one of the larger villages in the region after a tedious amount of hit and miss negotiations that almost boiled down to "don't burn out village and we won't torch your camp", not that she planned to do so.

"What good would it do?"

"There's an apothecary that I've heard mumblings about experimenting with some odd potions in the village, maybe he'll have something that'll…maybe help you."

"I've heard mumblings to Maneer", she said standing up, towering a good foot in height over him, "the man is half-mad".

"Please?" he was giving her a sympathetic look with those big eyes of his, something that would have gotten his head torn off in the old clan. She sighed.

"Alright, I'll pay a visit tomorrow."
His face lit up

"Thank you"

"But why are you so determined to get this sorted?"

"Because my chieftain, when you're happy, I'm happy."

The next morning the chieftain donned the closest thing she had to civilized attire and the only thing she wore which was a loincloth, a leather strip across her chest to holster her spear on her back, and a belt with a coin bag. Beyond that, she was as bare as the say she was born. Approaching the gates of the village, the guards drew their bows but immediately lowered them when her face was in range. Still, they didn't look upon her any less hostile. They allowed her in, but they made it clear they were keeping an eye on her. Ignore the warning she entered the village. Given it was mid day; the market was bustling with activity from various traders, merchants, and their shoppers. Along with this crowd, came a multitude of glances, whispers, and gestures made as the gnoll passed by. Letting the words bounce off her, she came upon her destination, a small building in the far corner of the village with a piston and mortar for its shop sign. The moment she entered her nose was buffeted by a pungent medley of herbs and roots left the hang and dry from the rafters. As she came closer to the counter in the back, her ears picked up the sounds of someone fiddling with glass and mumbling what sounded like some sort of measurements to themselves.

"Excuse me" the gnoll stated in a slightly raised tone, the sound of glass hitting the floor met her ears.

"Uhh, just a minute!", and elderly voiced called out as she heard the glass being swept up.
Hurridly around the corner came what looked like a man quickly entering his twilight years given the brown hair partially graying, and slight wrinkles on his face along his face.
Adjusting his glasses, he took a moment to note the being that had entered his shop.

"Ah, you must be one of the gnolls from the camp that just settled in."

The gnoll gave a slight node but remained blank.
 
"Chieftain Gnora"

"Well then, what can I do for you Gnora?"
The gnoll stopped to consider the best way to word her next statement.

"I've…" she cast her yes away, trying to avoid showing weakness.

"I want to bear cubs, but I've had no success in any of my attempts. I've been told you might be able to help."

"Hmm, a fertility problem" the apothecary pondered for a moment "let me check in the back" he answered as he scampered into the back room, apparently shuffling through his reserve of potions.

"I know I put it here somewhere…no…not that on-aha!" The man came back holding a small potion jar filled with an off green colored substance.

"This was one of my early alchemy endeavors, a fertility potion of the highest potency." He mused as he handed her the jar. She carefully took it in her paw, swishing the contents around inside.

"Why would an old man like you make something like this?"

 "A couple of years ago, the royal king too was having difficulty gaining an heir too his throne. Not wanting to pass up such an opportunity, I created this potion to bolster their attempts and perhaps gain fame for my deeds. Sadly though the King was successful on his own accord before I had a chance to test it."

"No matter, I'll buy it from you" She said dryly as she placed her coin purse down on the counter "take what you wish".
The man pondered the bag for a moment before he reached in and drew a single gold coin.

"This will do nicely, but my real price" he stopped and leaned in "is for you to return and show me the results of my creation." She titled her head at the request but dismissed her confusion with a nod.

"Deal"

"Very good, but a word of warning while I was never able to test it, I know that potion's potency is beyond "normal". I wouldn’t advise taking any more a sip from it."

"…..Right" she turned and walked out of the shop with a quiet "thank you".
However, the moment she was out of the line of sight, she opened the bottle and downed its entire contents in a single gulp.
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falloutghoul

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Re: Gnoll
« Reply #2 on: November 29, 2012, 09:01:17 am »

It certainly looks promising so far. :D
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Raydis

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Re: Gnoll
« Reply #3 on: December 07, 2012, 02:00:17 pm »

Bear with me on part 2, I kinda had the inspiration burned out of me for a bit and I'm just now getting the details formed for it
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Orbatrix

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Re: Gnoll
« Reply #4 on: December 07, 2012, 02:28:03 pm »

Well your ideas are generally much better than the countless fapfictions that floats around here so please do go on
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Raydis

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Re: Gnoll
« Reply #5 on: December 07, 2012, 03:35:04 pm »

Thats the other problem: Once the deed is all said and done, I'm not sure where to take it.

I could follow a basic progression of her pregnancy and give some minor details her and there up till the birth, OR I can chart out snippets of each month up to that point and make them full chapters with some situation or another taking place. The first choice of the two is obviously quicker, but I fear it might reduce my story to, as you worded it "fap fiction".

Input please
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Orbatrix

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Re: Gnoll
« Reply #6 on: December 07, 2012, 06:40:30 pm »

well you can still weave other stories and events into the whole things.
It does not have to be about the pregnancy itself it can be about how the female protagonist copes with it in various types of increasingly hectic situations.
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Raydis

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Re: Gnoll
« Reply #7 on: December 14, 2012, 08:03:45 pm »

With finals out of the way, it's time for part two. I tried to get past this part without it being completely held together by sex, hopefully I pulled it off.

Gnoll Part 2

With her task completed, Gnora wasted no time making her way out of the human village. While she held no resentment towards them, she still wasn't fond of the crowds. But she wouldn't find her way back to her own people so easily, just as she was approaching the edge of the camp; she felt a sense of restlessness enter the back of her mind. Instead she turned her eyes towards the forest, her former home. It had been months since the last time she hunted alone and not in a pack.

"Perhaps a quick stag hunt would sate this sensation" she mused to herself. Pulling out her spear, she stretched her limbs and sprinted into the forest.

After a few minutes of running, she stopped and sniffed the air. Already she detected at least one deer in the area, and if her nose was anything to go by, it wasn't far. Crouching low, she crept through the foliage and sure enough, a few meters ahead, was a deer munching away unaware to the danger. With all senses on overdrive, her rational side began to blur. Gripping her spear, she launched herself into the air, and came down full force on her target…

An unknown amount of time later, the gnoll came out of her haze. The first thing for her to become aware of was the overwhelming scent of blood. Looking down, all that remained of the stag was a degutted carcass. And yet, the twinge in the back of her head still lingered, taunting her. Frustration began to build, almost to the point of seething in her still clouded mind. Abandoning the remains, the only thing she could think to do was return to the village.

When she returned, most of the clan members looked at her in confusion given her delirious state and the fact that she was covered in blood. But she simply rushed past them; whatever was plaguing her, their scent was only making it worse. Stepping into her tent, she sealed the entrance.

"Gnora, are you ok?" Her hair stood up on her neck as she turned around. Maneer looked in shock at the blood

"What happened over there, is that human blood!? But Gnora wasn't paying attention, everything clicked in her head. The potion, the anxiousness, the blood lust, the potion had put her into a heat! It was also in that moment she let the last ounce of her willpower holding her composure go. As she eyed the meek gnoll, a growl slowly began to build in her throat.
"
What's OH-" was all he could get out before she pinned him to the ground. For a moment his mind raced, she had finally decided to attack the humans and end his existence, he thought. She brought her head down and he clenched his eyes shut, bracing for the killing bite to his throat. But it never came; instead he was met with the tickle of her tongue viciously licking him across his neck and face. His eyes shot open.

"What? What are you-?" Without warning she pulled herself back to his waist and ripped off his loincloth, her goal clear. And with that, she pounced…

Outside, the clan members perked their ears up towards the tent, unable to tell if what they were hearing was a horrid fight taking place, or something else entirely.

"Anyone wanna look?" one spoke up.

"And wind up like the poor bastard in there?" another answered, "Hell no!"

A few hours later, Gnora's eyes slowly crept open. The taunting haze was gone from her mind; only a sense of bliss and content remained. Looking over, she found Maneer, still sleeping in her embrace. Despite his body being dotted with a few scratches and bit marks here and there he was sleeping soundly. For some reason, she felt content with the little gnoll. She careful drew him in and licked the top of his head, prompting a small groan as he stirred, prompting her to draw back. For a moment he was still, the he realized where he was and recalled the events prior.

"Oh god what have I done, don't be mad I-" she cut him off with a finger to his lips.

"You gave me exactly what I needed…"

He was silent for a moment followed with "So what happens now?"

"Let's just…lay here for awhile…."

He gave a nod and curled back up.

"Though answer me one thing" he spoke up.

"Hmm?"

"That blood, you didn't go crazy in the village did you?"

She chuckled.

"No no, just made a trip to the forest for a meal…"

For a week or so, life went on a usual within the camp though Gnora wondered if this time, she might have better luck with her predicament thanks to the apothecary. She got her answer a shortly afterwards as one day she woke up with nausea, an event that had never happened prior and it wouldn't take a medicine man to figure out what caused it, the potion had worked….
That night a celebration was held by the clan in honor of their chieftain's found fertility with a combination of drinks and dance. The chieftain herself however didn't take part in the festivities, seemingly contempt enjoying the sight of it all sitting on a stump.

"So it's official then…" Maneer stated as he sat down beside her "What happened that day took."

"So it seems" the gnoll answered contemplating her currently flat stomach and the contents inside.

"But there's one thing I don't understand." Maneer continued

"What's that?"

He turned his head "Why me?"

The chieftain quipped up an eyebrow up "what do you mean?"

He pointed to some of the warriors dancing around the bon fire; one was so drunk he had fallen over in a giggling fit.

"You could have had any warrior you pleased in this clan that day, the strongest warrior. But instead you picked me…why?"

Gnora pondered the question.

"I…don't know. When I came back to the village, everything was a haze, except you. In that one moment I could think clear and I just…let it happen."

There was a brief silence before she gave a small whisper

"Thank you"

"For?"

"The greatest gift anyone has ever given me"
Maneer just leaned against her in response, both watching the fire burn.


(Again, that feedback powers all this)
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falloutghoul

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Re: Gnoll
« Reply #8 on: December 16, 2012, 04:21:15 am »

This story is looking pretty good so far.

Now, I wonder how that potion would affect her in the coming months.  ;)
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Charles Bowditch

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Re: Gnoll
« Reply #9 on: December 16, 2012, 07:52:04 am »

Now, I wonder how that potion would affect her in the coming months.  ;)

Well, to me it sounds very much like Wallaroo's comic about Rindy the White Mage Rabbit: http://wiswrp.pregfur.org/galleryold/picture.php?cat=28&image_id=474

Read those four pages and see if I'm not mistaken....
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Raydis

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Re: Gnoll
« Reply #10 on: December 16, 2012, 03:15:06 pm »

Now, I wonder how that potion would affect her in the coming months.  ;)

Well, to me it sounds very much like Wallaroo's comic about Rindy the White Mage Rabbit: http://wiswrp.pregfur.org/galleryold/picture.php?cat=28&image_id=474

Read those four pages and see if I'm not mistaken....

You are mistaken. The only similaritiy between the two is the fact a potion gets involved at the start and at that point the similarities end.

How is the potion going to affect her in the following months? Grab onto your chair because this may rock your world: In no manner whatsoever, all that potion did was nudge her own systems into functioning on their own and setting off a heat. Why? I didn't make this story to focus it solely on an absurbly-out-of-proportion pregnancy, it's a story about a cheiftain trying to peacfully interact with human culture (with a pregnancy being one of the key bits). That's the difference between smut and an actual story.
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